I.
Introduction
Everyone wants to be happy. We all desire to be happy while
we are in this world but life is not always pleasant and it is easy to slide
down the pit of misery when things don’t go your way. Happiness is a choice. It
may seem easy but it can be a bit challenging especially during times of
trials. It is easy to be happy when things are looking up, but can you still be
happy when life becomes difficult? What if you lost your job or a family member
is terribly ill? How can you still be happy during these times?
As you can see, happiness is a choice and a commitment at
the same time. It’s a matter of perspective and depends on how you get to see
things. Is the glass half empty or half full? Are you optimistic or do you get
to see the negative sides of things at all times? Optimism and enthusiasm are
key elements to make one feel happy. When you are looking forward to something
then you become happier. When you look at your future and you don’t see the
point in what you’re doing, then how can you possibly be happy?
The fact that you’re reading this means that you WANT to be
happy. This book will help you jumpstart your way to a life full of happiness.
Change the way you see things and change the way you look at yourself each day
and you’d be amazed at how the world start to look different.
Those with depression may find it more difficult to choose
to be happy because depression is a mental health issue that needs to be dealt
with accordingly. Depression makes you feel hopeless, helpless and/or worthless
that lasts for days, even months. It prevents you from functioning normally.
Lack of energy and enthusiasm to be with other people are often the initial
symptoms. The feeling of wanting to end your life is another symptom that is
very critical and should not be taken for granted by the people around the
person suffering from this condition. Do know that clinical depression is
treatable.
If you are suffering from clinical depression, it is very
important that one seek psychiatric help and group or family efforts to get you
through it. Depression is not similar to sadness. A depressed person sees the
world differently. There’s always that voice within their minds that tells them
all the negatives and they start to doubt themselves or even hate themselves.
As a piece of advice, if you think that you are suffering from depression then
the best thing to do first is to go to a psychiatrist who may be able to
prescribe you with an anti-depressant that can really make such a big impact to
your life.
With depression aside let us focus on how one can achieve
true happiness even when life’s blows are hard. So are you ready to be happy?
Are you ready to throw out that frown in your face and change it to a radiant
smile? If your answer is YES then you are making that first step. The step
claiming happiness to be yours. It’s yours for the taking.
II.
Jumpstart your journey to happiness
Commitment. It is what is essential to make this journey to
happiness a success. Start when you are fully committed to really make that
move. Fight the negativity as much as possible and religiously follow the steps
provided in this book to help you each day until your 30th day then
continue on after. This 30 day challenge means that you will have to follow the
steps each and every day for 30 days but that doesn’t mean on the 31st
day you’d go back to be the way you were before. By making the decision to
commit means you commit to do the challenge and to continue on. It won’t be
hard after the 30 days because then you’d already notice the difference. You’d
feel happier and more enthusiastic about your life.
Give yourself some time to really think this through. Take
time to absorb the challenge and don’t start when you are only half ready.
Start when you can fully commit to read this book up to the very end and follow
the daily challenges you have to do. Trust me it’s going to be fun. After all,
you want to be happy right? So you’d surely have fun in the process. You’d also
feel enlightened as you throw away the burden within you.
The opposite of happiness they say is sadness. Truth is the
real opposite of happiness is emptiness. I interviewed many individuals who
felt unhappy because they felt empty. Some even claim to wish they are just sad
than for them to feel empty. Emptiness leads to the feeling of being lost.
Emptiness leads to the feeling of worthlessness, useless, and so on. The
feeling of emptiness is invisible. One can easily say a person is sad based on
the circumstance he/she may be experiencing but the empty feeling a person has
cannot be seen. There are no signs and symptoms known by others but the
sufferer.
Feeling empty inside isn’t a crime. Don’t feel guilty
whenever you feel empty even when you’re surrounded by a lot of people or you
have a lot of achievements in life. Some may even ask you, you have everything
so how come you are still not happy? This is a question that can put one in an
even deeper hole and the feeling of worthlessness sinks in even deeper. Truth
is the feeling of emptiness is only the works of the real enemy. You know, it’s
that voice in your head that slams you with negativity. How do you combat this?
By pouring your thoughts with POSITIVITY. The solution to feeling empty is to give
yourself a PURPOSE.
So think hard about that. Are you sad or are you feeling
empty? Chances are, you’re feeling the latter that’s why you got this book to
help you feel happy again.
So let us jumpstart your journey to happiness. Make that
commitment right now while reading this that you are determined to find joy in
your life and to shun off the emptiness in your heart!
III.
Know what to fight against
In order to fight off feeling empty you need to know who and
what your enemy is. What are the bad feelings you have that pulls you away from
happiness? It is best that you list those down. This list would be important
for long-term because then you can find solutions to combat these problems.
Always remember that even though you are a good person (or even
if you’re not) bad things do happen to everyone and that includes you. Most
often, life can be quite unfair. Unemployment, marital problems, accidents,
natural disasters, problems in the family, financial problems, etc. are real
problems people face. We were brought up with this idea that if you do well
you’d be rewarded and if you do badly then that’s when you’d be punished. As a
child this may be applicable as the reward system of our parents but as we
become adults this is no longer the case. That’s when people get upset. You do
well in your job yet someone else gets promoted. You did your best in your
relationship yet your partner broke up with you or found someone else. You can
become quite angry and frustrated thinking life is so unfair! Why is this
happening to you? Why is this other person having what you’re supposed to have?
See, life is indeed unfair but you have to remember also that life is unfair to
EVERYONE else too and not just to YOU.
So, if everyone has their fair share of life disappointments
then how come you know people who are still genuinely happy with their lives
and some who are quite miserable? Is it because those who are happy are being
rewarded for being good while the miserable ones are being punished whether
they do good or bad? The big answer is NO.
You may be shocked to know that the person you find quite
happy had lost a child, lost a job or never got married. Same way that you may
be shocked that the most miserable person you know is actually with a great job
and a hot wife. But why is there such a difference between these two people? Is
there a magic formula for the happier man vs. the miserable man? The answer is
they chose to feel that way. Yes, it is a CHOICE.
So what should you be fighting against? Fight against the
negativity in your life. Bottom line is there are two types of feelings. All
that you feel can simply be associated with “feeling good” and “feeling bad”.
Of course happiness is in the “good” list and emptiness or sadness is in the
“bad” list. But what other feelings are there? Here are the lists of some of
these feelings.
The other “good” feelings
1.
Challenged- When you feel challenged you become
eager. You feel like doing your best to accomplish what challenges you. This
feeling makes you do better because you want to achieve something. This is what
many ball players feel when they play the game. Have you watched one of those
movies about sports? Usually in the last quarter the players are disheartened
because they feel they could not win the game. Then the coach comes in and
would usually make up this speech about how to win and what it takes to win this
game. Then the players shout out in glee as they run towards the court to play
and they end up winning! What the coach did was he came in to talk to his
players who were already disheartened and at the brink of giving up. He then
challenged them. Are you in this with me? Are you ready to fight the fight of
your life with me? With the team? This brings out that positive feeling of
being challenged. Adrenaline sets in and boom! They do the best they could and
win the game!
Find something that you always wanted to do
and challenge yourself to do it. You’d find it amazing how that could really
keep you upbeat and excited about life. Being challenged for a goal gives your
life more value because you yearn to achieve something.
2.
Hope- It could get better. The feeling of hope
is a very positive feeling. No matter what challenges one face, if one has hope
then he/she feels alright. People suffering from cancer can still be hopeful.
They focus on getting healed and they become enthusiastic to fight the cancer battle.
Hope is a feeling you feel when you know whatever you’re going through now will
eventually pass. Nothing in this world is permanent. Whatever trials one face
won’t be the end. It will pass. Things will get better. The future will look
brighter. Just imagine being a person at the brink of death and still feel
hope. They remain hopeful for their future. Perhaps some accepts the reality of
death but they remain hopeful because they also believe there is more to this
life than the life we live on Earth so there is nothing to fear. They hope for
a better life in that place and they hope for better lives for the ones they
have to leave behind. Hope is a choice you also make in whatever circumstance
you face. Once you have this feeling in your heart, everything feels a lot
lighter than it were before.
3.
Confidence- “I can do it!” “I know this!” “I am
good at what I’m doing.” When you say this to yourself and you know in your
heart it is true then you are confident to face whatever challenges you have.
Example, I have this friend who was not that good in class when we were in
college. Then I have this other friend who excelled quite well. We had to take
this very important exam and we studied hard for it. One day there was this
professor who asked the class this very important question. He asked who
amongst us believe that we are going to pass this exam. My classmate who wasn’t
that good in class raised his hand right away. My classmate who was doing well
and getting good grades all the time didn’t. The professor then said, “Sam
because you believe you are going to pass then you will pass.” The professor
explained that confidence combined with hard work is the key to success. I just
listened to him but never really believed him. Who is Sam to be sure to pass
this exam we all feared? I was doubtful that he can make it. Exam day came and
went and result came in. Sam did pass. My other friend, barely. That’s when I
knew that confidence is indeed very important. Despite all the sneering look
Sam got, he raised his hand because he believed and conquered the fear of the
exams and that’s how he managed to make it. Sam is now a very successful man
while my other classmate is doing a 9 to 5 job and doesn’t seem to be happy
with his career.
4.
Satisfaction- It is a feeling of being fulfilled
or contented. There are many ways you can feel satisfied in your life. One, you
will feel satisfaction if you are successful in doing something you desired.
When you are hungry and you get to eat you feel satisfied after eating. Same
thing when you have accomplished a goal. If you have not set any goals or you
feel like you have no desires because you are feeling the blues, you can also
feel satisfaction when you help out others in need.
5.
Interest- Every human being has desires to do
things, explore new places, venture into love, etc. We all have desires and the
curiosity to venture and seek those desires is where the feeling of interest is
felt. Once you start feeling the interest for a person, a thing, or a place,
you open yourself to the possibility of exploring those interests and in turn
you get to experience something that you once just desired. Interest is a very
positive feeling that keeps you going. Just imagine how boring your life would
be if you are not interested in anything!
Of course there are many other
positive feelings that will lead to a person’s happiness. One other positive
feeling that I did not list down because it deserves to be singled out is the
feeling of JOY. Just consider joy as the top of all the positive feelings out
there. If you seek for happiness, go and seek further more for joy. What makes
joy different from happiness is something that may be a bit tricky to explain.
Happiness is a positive emotion that you feel from being satisfied, contented
or having a wonderful and pleasurable experience while joy is a much stronger
emotion that is not as common. You can experience joy from doing a selfless
act, helping the poor and seeing the gratitude in their faces, being
spiritually connected to the Almighty gives this kind of emotion. Joy is
spiritual while happiness is more of earthly or self-focal. Happiness is an
outward emotion while joy is inward that gives you contentment and great peace.
Happiness is sought everyday while joy lingers on for a long time, even for a
lifetime.
You can say happiness and joy are
somewhat interrelated. When you become happy you somewhat become joyful too.
You cannot be joyful without being happy. If you are looking for a long-term
type of happiness then you got to find out what things in your life that could
lead you to feeling joyful. A person who has lost a lot can still be joyful
about his life because he chose to tap into his spirituality and find hope in
everything, despite all the negative things happening in this world.
Seek for joy and your happiness
would not be temporal.
The other “bad” feelings
1.
FEAR- Fear is an illusion of the mind. We fear
for the unknown. We fear for what can happen that may actually never really
happen. Fear keeps us in our cocoon, not wanting to leave our comfort zone to
explore and optimize the life we are given. Fear drives away the “good” feeling
of enthusiasm, interest, confidence, hope and many others. Once you fear, you
put a stop to yourself from doing what could actually lead to something
amazing. Many people who suffer from great deal of fear go through stages of
treatments to help them. What is the best way to combat fear? By facing what
you fear and conquer it. Once you do, it would feel great!
Many unhappy people who fight with fear
usually fights with the fear of rejection or being unwanted. They feel like
they are not worth people’s attention or time so they won’t even try. For
example, they are good employees and there’s a higher position available that
they know they are quite qualified for. But, because of their fear, they won’t
even try to claim that position against others. They already judged themselves
before allowing others to judge them based on the criteria for the position.
Instead of having a chance if they tried, they gave themselves a 0% chance
because they didn’t even try in fear that they won’t make it. Because of fear,
they actually end up not making it which is what they feared the most to begin
with!
2.
Guilt- One of the crippling “bad” feeling there
is is guilt. Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. We may have
hurt some people along the way without really meaning it. If we all could turn
back time we would have at least once done that to avoid making the mistakes we
made in the past. But because we’re human and time is only one-way, we can’t do
that. We make mistakes and we learn from them, we move on. But it may not be
that easy for those who are more prone to feeling guilty. It’s okay to feel it
once in awhile but you have to deal with it so you could move on. Do not allow
yourself to feel guilty and allow the guilty feeling to pile-up on you. If you
will, it’s going to exhaust you and it may be hard to pull yourself away from
that mental state later.
3.
Doubt- It is also somewhat related to fear in a
way as it stops you before you even get started to do something. It is a
feeling of uncertainty. Usually, doubt is about one’s capacity. You doubt
yourself if you can do a good job. You doubt if you’d ever be happy in your
life. You doubt you could even finish this 30-day challenge for happiness.
Whenever you doubt, you stop yourself from even trying to reach that goal.
Throwing away one’s doubt can be life-changing. Do not doubt yourself that you
can actually be happy because you can choose it and it will be yours. Doubt is
a very destructive emotion that plagues a lot of people. People who barely
doubt themselves become more successful in life. Can you think of people you
know who are high achievers in their work though they were not that successful
in school? One of the reasons for their success is that they believe they can
do it, never doubted for a second and went on to accomplish their goal.
Doubt is not always wrong. Sometimes our
intuition kicks in and we doubt the people around us or the situation we are
in. Do not disregard this feeling right away. Instead, use rational thinking
based on the facts at hand to see if your feeling of doubt is valid or not.
4.
Anger or hate- A very strong feeling that usually
arise when things don’t go as planned or if people do things that just tip you
off. This is a very destructive feeling that could really affect a person not
just emotionally but also socially. It can even affect one’s health. Anger is a
normal feeling but what you do with that anger can make or break you. If you
get angry over small things or issues then people may find it difficult to deal
with you. In the end, you’d end up isolated in your own little world because
people are too afraid to even go near you. Suppressing your anger is not good
either. If you just suppress it then eventually you’d still end up exploding.
Just think of dormant volcanoes with fire burning within them without erupting.
Eventually the pressure inside builds that the volcano eventually explodes and
it explodes powerfully. Expressing one’s anger need not be catastrophic in
nature. You can express it by just clearly explaining what makes you angry and
then find solutions to the problem. Managing one’s anger is the key to a
happier life.
Allow yourself to exhale that fume without
burning the persons around you. Be aware that you are angry and be careful with
the words you choose. A great way to fight the possibility of saying harsh or
painful words is to first give your time to relax before making a confrontation
with someone who made you angry or hateful.
5.
Jealousy- If you think others are luckier than
you and it does not make you feel happy for them then you are jealous of them.
If you only see the good in people and take it against them because they are
better than you then you’d end up struggling to see what’s good in your life
too! You have to look at people’s success by checking out what they had to go
through in order to reach that success. Sure there are others who become quite
successful or very lucky without much effort while you may have to go through
life painstakingly and still not get even half of the success they’re getting
but that is because this is your life and that is theirs. Each story is written
differently but you cannot base one’s success in just one aspect of life.
Jealousy is triggered when you keep on looking at other people’s lives instead
of focusing on improving your own life. It’s that the grass is greener on the
other side of the fence kind of thinking and not wanting to be on your side of
the fence and want to jump to your neighbor’s side and enjoy what they have.
Only to realize that on the other side is actually lonelier while on your side
there’s a lot more that you have not seen. Then you start thinking the other
side is better and you want to jump again.
Focus on what you have and enjoy them. You
may not have the same fortunate fate in business as others but you may have a
loving wife waiting for you at home and kids who love you. There are a lot of
priceless things you can find in your life that you may have not given much
notice yet.
What is the way to get rid of jealousy?
Appreciate the fortunes of others and appreciate your own fortunes too.
These are just 5 of the negative or “bad”
feelings that may pull you away from happiness. It is important to identify
such feelings everyday and know that these feelings are unwanted and that you
have to find ways to combat these feelings because you want to be happy.
Think of it this way, you want to focus on feeling
good therefore you push the bad feelings away. Whenever you feel bad or you
feel one of the “bad” feelings, think of what “good” feeling should you focus
on to get rid of the bad feeling that’s plaguing you at the moment. For
example, if you are feeling doubtful about yourself if you have what it takes
to achieve such a goal, why not change that and challenge yourself instead?
IV.
The 30-day challenge begins!
And now we’re going to start with your 30-day challenge.
From here forth you are to read this book one day at a time. Absorb what is
written and follow it strictly. You can do it! You will be successful in your
journey to find happiness. This book is just a guide and its success completely
depends on you. Put your learning to heart and follow the instructions
carefully. You’d actually be amazed at how easy this challenge is. Make sure
you only read it one day at a time, don’t read the entire book yet. It will
give you that feeling of excitement as you open the book every morning and read
your “happy” instructions for that day.
So, are you ready?
If you are then let us start with… Day 1!
Day 1
Think of a happy
childhood memory and ask yourself why you find that memory a happy one
This may seem easy to some but to others with unhappy
childhood, this is a big challenge. Whew! So much for day 1, right? Think of it
this way. With all the negative things you may remember from your childhood for
sure there’s at least one happy memory, right? The fact that you still remember
it means that it made a great impact in your life somehow.
A person’s childhood greatly impacts the person into
adulthood. That happy memory you have may actually have an impact on you right
now that you may not know of.
Try to list happy childhood memories if you can on a piece
of paper and try to relive them in your mind.
Isn’t it great to feel like a kid again?
Day 2
Do something childish
today
With your busy schedule try to commit to this today. For
sure there are things you did as a kid that gave you so much fun, why not do
those again today? It need not be a silly childish thing you’d do like rolling
on the floor or getting yourself dirty, just something that would bring forward
the child in you. Do not limit yourself, be creative. Just do something
childish that could make you burst in laughter!
I know someone who mastered “adulthood” and never really
took the time to do something fun in his life. One day, a child gave him a
lollipop and demanded that he suck on the lollipop. He did and at the second
that piece of candy touched his lips and the flavor covered his mouth he felt
sucked back into the time when his mom would come home from work and gave him a
lollipop. He remembered the feeling of being loved by his mom and it teared him
up he didn’t even notice it.
Enjoy your moment as a child. After all, the child we were
is still hiding inside our adult exterior. It’s fun to bring that child out
time to time.
Day 3
Count the blessings
received today
Count your blessings today and continue on for the remaining
days of your 30-day happiness challenge. Blessings need not be those big ones
such as getting better pay or something. Just the little things that make you
feel glad. A smile from a colleague, a good night sleep you had, the cup of
morning coffee that’s just as hot as you want it, being able to safely go to
work, etc. Do this every day. The moment you wake up in the morning try to be
aware of the blessings surrounding you.
This would be a conscientious effort in the beginning but
this will turn your life around. At first you may have to remind yourself this
over and over again but as time would pass, this would become a habit. See the
good in what’s happening each day and just try to enjoy them.
At the end of the day try to remember what happened during
your day. Cross out the bad and bury them in the past because that’s where they
belong. Try to relive the good for awhile and tell yourself that tomorrow would
bring more blessings to you. Be excited! Days are only going to get better for
you.
Day 4
Praise somebody today
From today and for the remaining days of this challenge find
somebody to praise. Even with the little things. Try to say “good job”, “you
did great with that.” “Oh, the food is amazing. You are such a great cook.”
“You’re looking great today.” Those little praises can really go a long way. It
can make somebody’s day too especially if they’re not used to you praising them
at all. Your happiness shouldn’t just go inward but you should let it flow
outward in order for you to feel satisfied within.
Praising someone brings out a positive energy hiding within
you. Make others around you feel happy with your little gesture of praising and
you may not notice it but a smile will grow on your face more and more each
time. Positivity is the key that unlocks your joy.
Day 5
Get in touch with an
old friend or a relative/family member you haven’t touch based with for quite
some time
Think of someone who you may not have been in touch with for
weeks, months or even years. Don’t you think it’s about time you say hello to
them again? Our life is part of a web of life. Every person’s life is a strand
in it. Our paths cross at some time and most often we have to say goodbye to
people we’ve come across with. It’s a fact that not everyone could stay and
play a part in your life but that doesn’t mean you can’t say hello to them
again every once in awhile. You don’t need to rekindle anything if you don’t
want to just a simple “hi” would make that other person glad to have been
remembered. Wouldn’t you want to be remembered too?
Try not to hesitate. You have a clean intention of just
getting in touch with them. You don’t need to choose the one you had a conflict
with in the past if you are not ready. Just think of someone, just anyone you
haven’t reached for awhile, and just say hi.
Day 6
Go for a walk or a
jog this morning
If you are regularly doing this as your form of exercise
then you may consider this day’s task a breeze. Don’t forget your day 3 and 4
task continues on for the remaining of your 30-day challenge so you better keep
that in mind and do not forget.
So today you have to get your jogging shoes on and go for a
walk or a jog in the morning. Smell the breeze, smile at people, listen to
great pumping music and just enjoy as the sweat drips down your body and your
blood pumping. Exercise is important in one’s overall wellness and most often
people forget its importance and think they just can’t find time for it. You
really have to find time for exercise. It need not be a daily exercise routine
but at least do some kind of exercise at least once or twice a week. Challenge
yourself each time you do it to last a bit longer or walk a bit farther. Build
up your endurance because that will not just help you to stay fit but it will
help you to stay happier. With more energy each day you won’t feel easily
irritated due to exhaustion.
If you read this later in the day, don’t worry. You can
still jog at night so there’s really not an excuse for you not to go. Or if you
want, you can go to the gym t
Day 7
A day to begin
meditation
Meditation has been used for thousands of years to move the thoughts
that cause stress to that which is relaxing and peaceful. There are many
varieties of meditation techniques created by man so you might get a bit
confused. Don’t be. Whatever type of proper meditation you follow, the main
goal is to reach the pure consciousness and awareness.
Meditation won’t come easy at the start to reach the pure
consciousness but as you continue to do it, you will improve. Even with some
distractions of your thoughts, doing some meditation regularly would prove to
be beneficial for you especially with your goal to achieve happiness in your
life. You don’t need to meditate everyday if you find that task to be daunting.
Just set a schedule, a plan as to when you want to meditate. Once a week would
be just fine.
You will notice that your thoughts and emotions would change
and be more subtle. The way you react to situations and people would also
change. From being easily angered you would notice that you get to respond with
a clearer mind. There are a lot of benefits from meditation such as gaining
inner peace. If you are the type of person who finds it hard to sleep soundly
at night or it takes you a lot of time just to get some sleep because of all
these thoughts in your head then you will greatly benefit from regular
meditation. Just consider all these thoughts as junk that piled up in your
mind. If your mind is a room then it would look all cluttered up. So what do
you do with a cluttered up room? You do some room cleaning and de-cluttering.
By meditating you are actually doing just that. You are getting rid of all the
trash, taking out all the negativity, and transforming the energy to a more
positive one. When you continue to meditate you will notice that it is a lot
easier for you to switch from the negative energy you experience during the day
and continue to be positive despite all the negatives you cannot control in the
world.
Meditation makes you more aware about your thoughts, your
feelings and your desires. This type of clarity would greatly help you when
making decisions. You no longer would be confused as to what you actually want
to do with your life and what gives you joy. You will be focused and aware of
that because meditation gives you absolute clarity.
Meditation also gives you more energy. Removing the
blockages from your chakras and the energy flow improves significantly. After
you’re done meditating you can almost instantly feel how it helps in improving
your energy.
Of course meditation isn’t just a one-time activity that
would make all these changes right away. Remember, cleaning up your room should
be done regularly and not just once.
So, from today on may you make it a habit to meditate. Clear
out your chakras!
Day 8
Do a good deed
So we are now on your 2nd week. Day 8 should be
made special by doing something that would make others experience joy through
you. Remember, what you give you will also receive in one form or another. It
is nice to do a good deed each and every day because it makes you feel good.
You will feel joy which is an overwhelming feeling of contentment and
happiness.
The good deed need not be a big one, just take whatever
opportunity you are given today. Say, open the door for an elderly or help an
elderly cross the street. Give some extra tip to the waitress who’s been
serving you your cup of coffee every morning. Just about anything you can think
of.
You’d come to realize that there are a lot of good deeds you
could do each day and it won’t rub off any of your own happiness or won’t even
take much of your time. Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if just about
everyone will do some good deeds each day? Why stop yourself. Start today by
making that conscientious effort to do a good deed for someone without
anticipating for anything in return. Try to make it a habit to be more
conscious about the possibilities that you could do a good deed for others. Be
a blessing for the people around you. Not only will they like you but you’ll
surely learn to like yourself a bit more. When you are satisfied about the person
that you are then being happy becomes easy.
Day 9
Take some time out
from everything
We all need to work hard to earn a living but sometimes
people forget that they work so hard to earn a living but failed to actually
live. Now is the time for you to be reminded that life isn’t all about work,
it’s about really living it. So go and take some time out from everything
today. That doesn’t mean you have to skip your work today but to just get rid
of all things that you’re dealing with each and every day. Go and have some fun
even just for a few minutes. Just think about “living” in the moment. Have some
fun!
We all hear stories of people who engulfed themselves so
much in work and later on realize that time has already slipped under their sleeves.
They look in the mirror and they see all grey hair, wrinkly skin and fake teeth
and can’t believe how fast time came and went. That is because they never got a
lot of chance to really enjoy the years of their lives. Sure we all need to
work, unless you are lucky to be born from a wealthy family, but to the rest of
us work is essential so we could put food on the table and give our children
better lives. But how are you supposed to know when and where should one stop?
People have this desire for greed. We all want more money and power that we
focus on that more than we should. Our life evolves around work and we become
happy when we get our pay check or we get a promotion. But that happiness is
only temporary. There are a lot of
events in our lives that weighs greater than what you earn from your job. For
instance, never miss the chance to let your children experience your love.
Never miss the opportunity to play with them while they still want to play with
you! Never miss birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, etc. Life is important,
not money.
Today do something to get your mind off of what is keeping
you busy or stressed out. Go and play some. Go and watch a movie. Go and have a
massage. Go and hug your kids, kiss your wife or husband, do something out of
your normal routine and just LIVE.
Day 10
Go out with friends
“No man is an island” is one popular and overused quote that
is sound and true. Happiness is best when shared with people around you. Make
time to be with your friends or even your colleagues at work. Have lunch or
dinner together or simply have time to talk about what’s going on in your lives
or even talk about the news. Give yourself the chance to just laugh and bond.
Friendship is important and we must nurture the friendship
by giving them time out of our busy lives. This day you are not just challenged
to spend time with them but for you to remember the importance of friendship.
Think about the friends you have right now. Do you have friends who are closest
to your heart? Have you made them feel valued? Women may find it easier to be
expressive while men may find it awkward to express. Find ways to let your
friends know that you value them. Even just a simple message saying you are
thankful for what they have done for you would already suffice.
Day 11
Plan a vacation
Set a date and actually make sure that you will have that
vacation. You deserve it. Everyone deserves to have a vacation every once in
awhile. If you have kids having a vacation fills up their memory banks and
that’s what we all should remember that kids should not just be treated with
what they need but they should also be treated with memories to remember when
they are all grown up.
Plan that vacation. You can opt to have it by yourself or
have your family or friends with you. Have it however you please. Make the most
of your time. Go somewhere you’ve never been to before. Explore the world. It
need not be a vacation abroad or hundreds of miles away, it can just be a
vacation to a nearby city or town that you’ve never ventured yet. Arouse your
interest, be excited, feel all the positive feelings you get when you are
looking forward to a majestic time.
Day 12
Breathe
A day to just breathe. Enjoy the act of breathing. Just be
conscious that you are still able to breathe. You have no additional tasks for
today. Just continue on the tasks you were given from day 3 and 4 and perhaps
continue the other tasks from the other days too. Today is going to be like a
practice day for you. You choose what you want to do today that will give
yourself a positive feeling. You are not required, do it from the heart. Choose
it.
At the end of the day go and look back on your day 12. Look
back on the past 12 days. How was it? Are you doing okay? How are you feeling?
Think about your answers and use your answer to motivate you to continue on for
the remaining days of this 30-day challenge. Remind yourself of the reason why
you chose to start this challenge and that is, you want to be happy.
Are you feeling happier now than when you first started?
Day 13
Learn something new
You are never too old to learn something new. Let’s face it,
we become focused on making a living a bit too much that there are things we
used to dream of doing but never got the chance to do. Think back and remember
some of those things you wanted to learn or do but never really had the chance
to. Do you want to learn to play the guitar when you were growing up? How about
learning a new language? Or perhaps learning how to use technology if you are
not techie?
There are so many things that you can learn even as an
adult. Remember that life goes on and learning should never stop. Learning
helps the brain to function optimally. You will be exercising your brain to
explore and not just be doing the same things over and over again as you become
more routine-focused.
Learning to play a musical instrument can be quite
rewarding. Even if you won’t really be mastering it but being able to play
music with an instrument when you once don’t really know how to do it can
really make you happy. It is an achievement that we all need to experience at
least once in our adult life so go ahead and think of something new you want to
learn and start learning!
Of course you cannot really learn something new in just one
day that is next to impossible. But, for today, your task is to think of
something that you can really claim for yourself that you can start learning
about. Start reading about that, create a plan, and make sure that you make
progress at the end of your 30 days.
It is a big challenge especially if you want to learn
something great. But, you are not forced to learn and master it by the end of
this 30-day challenge. Just some progress and hopefully you’ll get into it more
and actually reach the expert level.
Never say never. You can do it. Believe in yourself and take
it one step at a time starting today.
Day 14
Hug day!!!
Today is the day for hugs. Okay, you’re not exactly going to
go out and hug everybody in your neighborhood or office. That would be just
weird and the police might be called and you might get arrested. Today, your
challenge is to hug someone you hold dearly in your life. If you are a hugger
and you hug people you love often then this may not seem like such a task. If
you are a hugger, try to hug a little bit longer and feel that moment when your
body is hugging someone you hold dearly in your heart.
If you are not a hugger, this may freak you out a bit. But,
don’t worry. People like being hugged. Don’t go and immediately hug someone who
is not used to having that intimate moment with you. Go and hug your parents.
Go and hug your spouse. Go and hug your children. Go and hug your close
friends.
Hugging is actually a need and there are studies that say
people actually need at least on average 8 hugs a day. Hugging as a form of
therapy is actually quite powerful especially when it comes to healing. Whether
you are in need of healing from sickness, stress, anxiety or even depression,
getting hugs daily could be very beneficial.
What type of hug should you aim for to optimize the
benefits? Researchers call it as the “deep hug” or the hug that lets two
people’s hearts press together for at least a couple of seconds. Relationships
are strengthened when hugs are given on a regular basis. It gives one the
feeling of safety as well as trust with the person you are hugging. This also
opens up the window to communication and having that feeling of warmth knowing
that somebody cares for you and loves you. Oxytocin and serotonin levels are
also boosted with hugs. Those suffering from depression or loneliness can
instantly feel a boost in their emotions to make them feel better. One who is
angry can have the fire within them extinguished with hugs too!
In order to get rid of the negative emotions you have to
change the emotions from your core. Hugging can achieve that. That is the same
reason why we go and hug someone grieving or struggling. We do it because we
want to comfort them and change their emotion and make them feel a little bit
better.
Hugging would be a great habit for anyone. The more hugs you
give, the more hugs you will also receive. The better you make others feel, the
better you make yourself feel too. You can never give out hugs and not receive
hugs in return so go and hug people today and everyday!
Day 15
Write down your
progress
So you are now halfway through your 30-day challenge to seek
happiness and let go of bad feelings. Your assignment today is to list down
what progress you’ve made from the past days. Do the daily tasks you are given
and at the end of your day 15 make your list.
Are you feeling a lot better? Which days became hard for
you? Did you push through and do all the challenges you were given daily? If
not, what stopped you? What do you think would have improved in your overall
feeling if you followed the daily challenges completely?
If you are satisfied with your first 15 days then you are
doing an excellent job. The goal here is to make you feel good about yourself
and kiss those negative feelings away.
If you look at your first 15 days and still think there are
no improvement, don’t worry. Just try a little bit more to follow the daily
challenges and stay motivated. There are 15 days left for this challenge. For
sure you will be able to see the good in your day to day life and realize that
all these negative feelings you are feeling are just feelings triggered by your
brain that pulls you away from that ultimate happiness that is just waiting for
you to take.
Do not give up. Keep on going. This 30-day challenge is fun
and exciting. Remember that you started this challenge because you want to
improve your life by being happier. Claim it. You will be happier.
Day 16
A day for
appreciation
Appreciating even the little things in your life can really
go a long way. Being appreciative and grateful are two traits of a happy person
and it would really make a big difference in your life if you start to
appreciate the little things.
No matter how sad or miserable your life may seem, there are
still things in your day that would be worth noting as something to be
appreciated. If you didn’t burn your toast this morning and you got to enjoy
your breakfast then that’s something to appreciate. Being able to go to work
safely is another. Appreciating the avoidance of misfortune is a great habit
and you must learn to see these good things in each and every day of your life.
Today try to list down or just think about the things that
happened (or didn’t happen) that you appreciate. Then try to think about what
feeling it brought you when you list down these things. Savor the moment. You can also list down the people today that
you appreciate. What have they done that you are happy about? Just list down
things, people or events that transpired today that you appreciate.
Day 17
Schedule your day and
sleep early
So today is the day that you will focus on giving your body
the chance to recharge for at least 8 hours of sleep. Your body needs sleep
because sleep rejuvenates the cells as the body recuperates. Giving yourself
this time to sleep will make you feel more energized in the morning. Skip that
night coffee if you are used to drinking coffee. Relax, throw away your worries
for today and just worry about them tomorrow or even never. Today you will
focus on getting home early, clean up and then sleep early. You should sleep
early tonight in preparation for your day tomorrow. If you are a night owl this
is a hard challenge so you can skip to day 19 and prepare yourself 2 days from
now to do day 17 then 18.
So for day 17 you are to sleep early and wake up before
sunrise. When you wake up in the morning, open this book and read about your
day 18 task.
Day 18
Watch the sunrise
Congratulations for being up early. For today is the day you
get to enjoy the sunrise. If you haven’t watched the sunrise for some time,
this is a great day to do that. Watch as the sun rises to the horizon and feel
the tranquillity it brings. The sun gives us our energy as it is what makes our
planet thrive. Without the warmth from the sun, nothing on Earth would ever
survive. Isn’t it amazing that our planet is situated at just the right
distance from the sun so it isn’t too hot or too cold for life to exist?
The warm color you see during the sunrise can invigorate the
soul. Watch the sunrise, be excited for your day, have a cup of coffee or cocoa
and just enjoy the moment.
Think to yourself, “This is going to be a great day!” and be
positive throughout your day 18. Enjoy your moment.
Day 19
Take time to be with
Mother Nature
The Earth is a gift that we are all given to enjoy. We live
in it but do you still find time to really enjoy the beauty of the Earth away
from all the modernity? Go and enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature today. You can
go for a walk, a hike or even go fishing. Anything that lets you see some
trees, enjoy the sand, soil and grass.
If you live in a city you don’t really need to go out of
town for this day’s challenge. You can just go to the park or even the zoo and
just enjoy your time trying to touch base with Mother Nature. Feel the
sand/soil or grass underneath your feet. Be in tune with our greatest life
source which is our very own planet.
Have a bit of fun today and breathe in all of nature’s
goodness.
Day 20
Pamper the body
The body is our vessel that needs to be cared for and also
pampered. Today, go and have some pampering session. Get a massage, get your
nails done, or just about anything that gives your body a bit of pampering. You
can head to the nearest sauna and have that warm sauna bath. Anything you
fancy, take the time to do it today. It need not take much of your time but it
sure would make you feel wonderful both inside and out.
Life is indeed precious. Isn’t it great to actually start
living life? You don’t need to be rich just to have a bit of fun and happiness
it’s the little things that makes a big difference in one’s outlook. Find
happiness in the little splurging you can have. If you can’t afford to get some
pampering then don’t worry much about it. Just give your body the time to rest
today and free your mind from all the worries even just for an hour. Release
the stress and just find your center.
Day 21 to 25
Read a book
For the next 5 days you are challenged to read a book. A
book that you know you can read from start to finish in just 5 days. Find an
exciting book or a book that really arouses your interest and get on reading.
That will be your challenge for the next 5 days and I want you to enjoy it. It
would actually be even better if you can find a partner that read or is going
to read the book with you. You can then share your ideas or opinions about what
transpired in the story. Get a conversation going and share about what you
learned from the book with your book partner.
Bookworms would surely love this 5-day challenge. If you
don’t like to read books, don’t worry. There’s always that opportunity when you
are given a task that lets you open new doors to new adventures. Reading books
expand your knowledge and bring you to different dimensions. It is a lot of fun
and now is your chance to experience that. Find books that aren’t boring to
read so you will enjoy this 5-day challenge. You shouldn’t feel like you’re
getting penalized to do this, the goal is for you to explore and enjoy. You can
choose whatever genre you like, just keep on reading. You will come to realize
that reading takes you on a journey using your imagination. It is a great
exercise for the mind.
Day 26 to 30
Stop Complaining
You are almost there! For the remaining 5 days you are to
make it a habit to stop complaining. For the next 5 days you should take that
conscious effort to stop yourself whenever you feel like complaining about
anything. Take what you have learned from the previous days into action and
practice them throughout the remaining 5 days. Be grateful, be appreciative,
breathe, take some time out and deviate your mind away from what frustrates
you. Remember, being unhappy or happy is really a choice that affects one’s
state of mind. If you choose to be happy then you will be happy. If you choose
to be happy then you make the conscious efforts to always choose the happy
emotions and deviate away from the negative ones.
When you stop complaining you will see the world on a
lighter note. The people who used to annoy you will feel like regular people
once again that you can look straight in the eye and value for their purpose in
your own life. Sure there are things, people and events that can really piss
you off but when you decide to not let it affect you then you won’t anymore be
complaining about them.
At the end of your 30 days look back on the challenge. Have
you changed the way you see your life by now? What have you learned? What were
the things you used to do that makes you unhappy that you no longer feel like
continuing now that you are feeling much happier? Do you have a long way to go
to achieve that stress-free and happy life you’re dreaming of? What are you
going to do to achieve that kind of happiness? Think and reflect. List down
your answers and look back at those answers every once in awhile to remind
yourself about this challenge, your goal, what you accomplished and what you
still want to accomplish to achieve it.
Remember, your quest for happiness should not end here. This
30-day challenge is just a jumpstart and it is up to you to continue it or not.
You can always go back and do this challenge again or you can even make your
own quest for happiness challenge. Think of the things that can make you happy
and set to do those things for 30 days and improve yourself to become happier.
Share what you learned and ask people what they noticed different about you.
When you are happier and treating people better, the people around you would
actually be happier too.
V.
So now what’s next?
First of all, let me congratulate you for completing the
30-day challenge to leave bad feelings behind once and for all. You did great!
It shows that you are indeed determined to turn your life around. No need to be
gloomy and walk around with the dark cloud hovering on your head. You can make
that decision each and every day to enjoy the warmth of the sun and keep that
gloomy cloud away.
So now that you completed the challenge, what’s next? Your
whole life of happiness awaits and it’s yours for the taking only if you want
it. Taking this 30-day challenge is not like taking a magical pill that will
solve all your problems away. Rather, it teaches you how to change your state
of mind and shows you that happiness is indeed a choice you make each and every
day. It would be great if you set a goal each day that would change your mood no
matter how grim the day turns out to be. There will be good days and there will
be bad days. No one’s immune to having bad days. But it is really how you react
to what’s going on that determines your overall outlook in your life. Learn to
lift yourself up when you are down and deviate your attention when needed to so
you would still have an overall happy wellbeing.
Always remember that there are two categories of emotions as
what had been discussed earlier in this book. Know which side of emotion you are
feeling and push yourself away when what you are feeling is under the category
of “bad” feelings. Dwell more on the good feelings such as the feeling of being
challenged which can really be of a great help for you to pull yourself out of
feeling negative about you, your life or the people around you. It would take a
conscious effort and reminder for the next few weeks or even months but
eventually it will become like a normal thing for you and you can already start
pulling yourself away from those negative emotions instantly.
Always remember that you can do it. You did it! You finished
the 30-day challenge and you can do it for years to come. You are on your way
to complete happiness and you won’t let any negative emotion take that away
from you.
VI.
Make that choice to be happy
I don’t really think there is a person on Earth that desires
to be miserable. All desires happiness because being happy feels good. We all
want to get what makes us happy. Others find their happiness in money while
others in relationships or travels. We have this idea that happiness can be
found through what’s around us. We think happiness is an Earthly possession and
we go out to look for that source and feel like we just can’t get enough of it
in order to maintain that euphoria of the Earthly happiness we get from it.
Many times I have seen people do this over and over again
without realizing they are actually doing it. Shopaholics, for instance, find
their joy in shopping. If you do it once in awhile just to de-stress then there
is nothing wrong with it. We all deserve a bit of luxury every once in awhile.
But others who become shopaholics cannot find happiness unless they are able to
buy the things they want. And they want a lot! So they go and shop often,
spending a fortune in doing so, yet they are never satisfied. Buying a phone
can give you that instant high when you bought the latest phone. When newer
phones are released you look at your old phone and feel dissatisfied with it
and you want the newer one. You crave for it and you no longer find happiness
in what once gave you that ultimate thrill. Then you go and buy a new phone
then a newer phone would be released and the cycle continues. The cycle of
happiness and dissatisfaction.
Same thing with love. People come and go in our lives but
people tend to be too clingy. There are those who cannot survive without a
girlfriend or a boyfriend. So they go on searching for that love. When they
lose that love they cannot feel happy again until they find a new beau. It
becomes a cycle yet they don’t understand why finding the right one becomes so
hard. So they go on this cycle again of love and of lost love. A cycle of
happiness and broken heart.
Same thing with recognition. A lot of people fall victim to
this vicious cycle without them realizing it. We all want to be recognized and
given credit for the things we contributed but there are a lot of people who
considers this as a source of their happiness. So what do they do? They go out
trying to prove their worth all the time. They work hard, rub elbows and do
just about everything they can just to get the recognition they want. Once
their hard work is recognized they feel happy and satisfied, even proud of
themselves. We all want to feel that way every once in awhile but if you focus
on that alone to be your source of happiness then you become a slave to it.
They don’t become satisfied with just one recognition, they want to be the one
recognized all the time. If others do better than them they become too
competitive and get to feel unhappy or even angry when others are recognized
for their better job. They pursue for more recognition and not feel satisfied
with what they have already accomplished. They strive too hard forgetting that
there is so much more in life that could make them feel happy. It becomes a
cycle of finding their place in the world that has to be a better place than
anyone else. A cycle of recognition and bitterness for not being the better
person.
There’s a TV show that shares stories of people who like to
hoard. These hoarders find joy in the items they get to “collect” not realizing
that they are already making a trash out of their homes. If you are not
familiar with this TV show or what hoarding is about, let me give you a bit of
information then later on let’s discuss it metaphorically. Hoarders are people
who like to collect stuff and store them. These people like to collect a lot
and they really reach that point where they no longer cannot control themselves
from getting more and more stuff. Sadly, these hoarders cannot find
satisfaction until they get enough new items to collect and the cycle continues
day in and day out. They just got to keep on collecting. There are many
hoarders who become obsessed and fill up their homes with these stuff they
collected not realizing how much damage this cause. The damage is not just in
the damage to their home but most especially with the damage to their relations
such as with their family and friends. They cannot find happiness elsewhere.
They will just be happy for a short while if they add more items. It becomes a
cycle of short happiness and a pile of mess. They can be helped but sadly, many
of these people still end up doing the same thing. Cleaning up their home and
getting rid of most of the stuff they collected can be a big help for them but
if they won’t find true happiness then they’d still go and get more stuff and
do the cycle of destroying their relationships and home again. Metaphorically,
we can also be like hoarders if we don’t know how to find happiness the right
way. If you go out and seek for happiness from the outside to fill up your home
“or yourself” you end up with a rotten home. You start with being unhappy and
you still end up quite unhappy plus with a home that needs to be cleaned up
and/or repaired. However, if you look at yourself the right way then you’d
think of it as a loving home you can stay in and rest. You’d want to decorate
your home beautifully not for the pleasure of others primarily but for your
own. You throw away the trash from your home and you won’t want to entertain
having trash coming in. Once you know how to find happiness from within then
you won’t be like a hoarder with a home unsuited for people to even be near in
but with a loving home people can’t help but notice how homey it feels inside and
how beautiful it is on the outside. Throw away the bad stuff, welcome the good
stuff. Same thing with emotions you got to throw away the bad and welcome the
good emotions.
VII.
Make happiness happen to you
Happiness isn’t something that is based on what happens to
us. That type of happiness is only a 10% portion of one’s total happiness. If
what is going on around us that makes us happy only comprise to 10% then to
where do the 90% of happiness come from? If you have read this book in its
entirety then you probably can answer that by now. Yup, 90% of happiness comes
from within. Others are born with the happy personality but many can find it a
bit hard to be instantly happy. But happiness is a choice. This 30-day
challenge is just a start to help you make happiness happen to you. See how a
simple decision of thinking about happy thoughts or making exciting plans can
change your mood? That’s the secret. As the saying goes, “Change the way you
look at things and the things you look at change.” It is the same concept you
must apply each day. Don’t see the cup to be half empty, see it as a cup that
is half full. Be optimistic. Be enthusiastic.
Your happiness is not dependent on anything or anyone. Your
happiness is yours and it’s up to you if you want to be happy or not. Happiness
comes for free it does not have a price tag. You don’t need to lose something
just to be happy. Since it is free, it is up for grabs. So why not grab it
every chance you have? Do not hesitate, just choose it and it is yours. It is
that instantaneous!
So why is it important for one to be happy? It is because
when you are happy, a lot of things in your life would improve. Do you know
that the happy people are the ones who become more successful? Those who find
joy in the things they do tend to do them a lot better than those who always
complain. Don’t be the bitter employee in your office, be the person who enjoys
your work. As the saying goes, “If you are happy in what you do then you’ll
never work a day in your life.” Can you just imagine how different your outlook
to your job would be if you actually enjoy what you do? You won’t be working
even a day in your life! Also, happy people tend to live healthier and longer.
Of course, you take away the countless stressors from your life and your body
reacts to it. Remember the home of a hoarder compared to a clean and happy
home? A clean home can last much longer than a home burdened with lots of
trash. When you are happy, people would also find it enjoyable to be around
you. They’d enjoy your company so you’d be invited more to gatherings because
your presence can rub off some of your happiness to them as well. People would
want to just be around you. Isn’t that amazing? No need to run for
relationships and end up with the wrong ones. When you are happy and contented
with yourself you won’t be depending on someone else to fill you up with love.
You don’t absorb love, you give it, and the right ones would come along for you
and not run away from you.
There are a lot of benefits to simply making that choice to
be happy. Just throw away your burden, don’t allow it to control your life. Be
the one in control and throw away the power of what burdens you out the window.
So now that you know how to be happy and the reasons why
it’s best to choose to be happy, you are now ready to face the world as a
better and happier person. Sure there will come days when it gets hard and it
is okay to release your pains during these times. Just don’t wallow on your
problems, release them and move on. Dust yourself off, pick yourself up and
prepare yourself for more beautiful days. Choose to be positive and don’t allow
your past to haunt you. Don’t allow your mistakes to pull you down. No one is
perfect after all. When you fail or make mistakes, think of those times as a
learning curve. It is what will make you wiser and stronger. It’s through your
failures that you become better. Dust off and enjoy your days. Life is so good.
Don’t waste your days on Earth wallowing and having all these bad feelings in
your heart. Make use of your days so at the end of your life you can look back
and have a lot of joyful memories and you know that you have lived your life
right. It is never too late to make that choice. Now that you made that choice,
you shouldn’t go back. You can start enjoying your life now. You deserve it!
