My baby made it. Yes, after almost a week of crying, worrying about my little baby Frosty, now she is home. I'm so happy she made it. The vet thought Frosty won't make it and I can see it in their faces that they were also very happy that she is back to her old naughty and noisy self.

The thought of just putting her to sleep broke my heart. I can't ever make that decision. But, as my good friend Reena the super maldita told me, if there is no hope then it's the most humane choice. I'm glad I didn't have to make that decision as the vet told us that Frosty is fighting back and she is getting stronger by the day.

I can't explain how happy I was when she was brought to us. She looked so different... so pretty! She got a new hairdo... so cute! Alain was happy to see Frosty too and he was really happy to see that I am happy. Without Alain's help, I don't know if Frosty would have the chance to survive that ordeal. Thank you Alain. :)

Kingkong was really happy to see his little sister. She was not as happy as Kingkong was though. He kept biting her and trying to bite off her two-ears hairdo. Grr! He was kind of envious of Frosty... the same typical scenario that I enjoyed before Frosty got sick. Frosty wants to be the star while Kingkong IS the star. They both fight for my attention and I love that so much! haha!

It's a happy day for me. I got my little baby back... Too bad I have to give her to my friend Reena the maldita by February though... Oh well... haha!

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?

This is a very powerful skit. Thanks to Tekla, she's the one who sent me the link to this video. At first I thought it was rather dull but then in the middle of the video I finally felt the message of the song. It moved me and I guess it moved all christians who also watched it. It's a great video that shows how God suffered to redeem us from sins.

Enjoy watching this video.

Lifehouse- Everything

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag

It's a sad song... I was supposed to write something here about that song but suddenly, my sister came in my room crying, I ran down and saw her dog snowy just died. I felt bad for her. She's so sad and I can't do much to help her. I feel bad for the little chihuahua... seeing a dog dead isn't pretty. I hugged the doggy and tried to close her eyes. I listened to her heart and it already stopped beating. I feel bad... And I gotta post this song here too. *sigh*

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's
The little old bird woman comes
In her own special way to the people she call,
"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs;
Come feed the little birds,
Show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do
Their young ones are hungry
Their nests are so bare
All it takes is tuppence from you
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag
Feed the birds," that's what she cries
While overhead, her birds fill the skies

All around the cathedral the saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares
Although you can't see it, You know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares
Though her words are simple and few
Listen, listen, she's calling to you
"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag"

Another Nightmare of the Past Lurked its Ugly Head

I've had lots of bad experiences in the past that I wish to just forget and I've been really trying my best to forget them as much as I can but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the feelings come back as if it just happened moments ago and not many years ago.

It came to me while I was half-asleep at around 2 in the afternoon. It was scorching hot outside and I was exhausted from the morning swim so I decided to just sleep in my room with the airconditioning turned to its lowest temperature. I wasn't really asleep then and I felt like I was in some sort of trance and it led me back to that moment in my life... felt so real... felt like I was reliving that moment again. I opened my eyes and my heart started pumping fast and the first thing I thought of was to get out of the house because I felt like I couldn't breathe. The problem is, I have nowhere to go so I knew I just had to snap out of it. I did... somehow I was able to. But it just pisses me off that my mind's not being too friendly with me. I wonder why I got the sudden flashback that felt so real and it seems as if I could feel everything although I know everything's just a flash from my memory.

I try my hardest not to get depressed because I know it's too hard to snap out of it once I'm in my dark room again. Everyday is a challenge for me but I am happy to say that I am able to cope from sudden triggers such as this. I guess it's because of my will to stay as sane as possible that's why I get to fight it away.

I just thank God that despite everything, I have no anger in my heart anymore. It's so hard to forgive and it took me years to finally say that I forgave those people who have hurt me in the past. It feels good to live without any grudges. It's hard to give up the anger but once you do, life feels so much lighter.

---- It was just a flashback of my past. It felt horrible and so consuming but I am still grateful that it's all over now. :)

In Any Battle There Is No Winner...

Am I the only one who noticed this? People fight to win but in the end nobody really wins. In the process of fighting, we get to lose something so important but we just don't know how important they are in our lives. We're so focused to reach our goal, to get the award and beat our opponent that we blindedly don't realize we already have lost so much.

There really is no winner and what seems to you as a victory is really not. A pat at the back feels good after a job well done but how sweet is your victory if you have stepped on other people and put them to their misery? How good does it feel to be compared and get the recognition while the other gets all the humiliation? Is it all that worth it? Is it really what life is for? To win?

Sometimes being categorized as "good" or the protagonist while your enemy or rival as the "bad" or antagonists doesn't really make you a good person at all. It's just a name, a category or whatever you'd call it to separate you from the other. Does it mean that when you're bad then that is your role and when you're good you stick to that role? Can't both mix? Can't both dwell together? Is life all about seggregation of oneself to others not like you? Can't all just get along and make a name for everyone so everyone could just feel like they belong?

Sometimes an applause doesn't really make you feel good but buries you even deeper to more pain and more suffering. Am I the only one who noticed this? Am I the only one who feels this?