New life... again

So, I'm back here in Laguna. Chose to move here despite the opposition from my parents who can't simply accept the fact that I am no longer a kid (:P) and I have no regrets. So far I'm quite happy here living with my husband and our baby girl. Our baby is growing so fast and I'm glad I can be with her every single day and see her grow. I am happy now though I know I am still wounded. Finally, I think, I really need to move on. As I think about what had happened in the past and what they have done to me, I realize that there's no point in me ruining my life and not enjoying what I have now. My friend was right, I have so many blessings already and I shouldn't ask God why He is blessing them even though He knows they deeply wounded me... destroyed me, in fact! But, life has to go on. I can choose to just think about what happened and not move forward and eventually regret the lost chances, or I can move on now and simply enjoy the life that I am already given. I now will choose the latter.

I know there will still be issues in the future and they will continue to try and hurt me or talk about me like I'm a big joke but I have no control over that. I guess I just have to let them be. It may take awhile for me to completely forgive them and rub elbows with them again (if ever that would still happen) but I will just move on now. I just have to think of my blessings. I am so thankful that we moved far from them too. Less contact with them, the better. I noticed before when I was still in Mandaluyong I was really happy and at peace with myself. When I returned home, I became so angry again... Anger is not a good feeling to feel and I kept that anger in my heart so I could protect myself from being hurt again. I tried to open up to them but they abused my trust... again! Oh, well. That's their problem now, not mine. But somehow I allowed them to be victorious over me because I kept myself distant and attacked people because I was angry. I no longer want to be angry.

Well, just want to post here again. It's been awhile since I last visited my blog. I do hope that the next blog posts would all be positive- no more hurts, anger and disappointments (fingers crossed). They've done enough. Now it's time to free myself. :)