It's not my fault

This is something that I need to internalize and absorb. I feel so stressed out about our situation and I always, always, want to make sure everything will go according to plan. It's not that I feel guilty, but I feel so horrible about the painful ordeal last February. I often end up feeling as if I was the one who caused all of this and that I'm the one who needs to prove myself to people. But, as what they always tell me, this is not my fault.

I am the victim here and I'm not the one who should exert this much effort to get things done. I'm not the one and I need to relax a little bit. But how can I?!!