If there's anything that I am most grateful for it's this...

Life is hard no matter what but I am thankful for the fast-paced life I have now. Now I'm always busy and although that's not always a good thing but it turns out to be a great pill for my life-long battle of confusion and peaceless mind. I'm always worried about certain things and I get easily depressed but so far I haven't felt the same depression that I used to have, at least not on the same level as before.

For that I am really glad and I feel so blessed now. Whenever I feel nervous about projects, I just leave it as is and it's not as bad as I have imagined it. Projects kept coming and now I no longer have to worry about finances. Slowly we are gaining back what we have spent and it's such a good feeling to go positive once again. The more I recall the past experiences, the more I realize that God was pulling me away from what could have been bad decisions in my life. God is a good God indeed and although sometimes it feels like His help or redemption comes a bit too late but I know there is a good reason for everything. I'm such a believer of God before especially when 1 night I had a question about my belief in Him and He came to me in a dream and I was trembling in fear. He was mad at me for not trusting Him and I felt His power- was trembling not because I was afraid but because I was stunned that He answered me to keep me from being confused with my faith. That should have been enough to keep me believing in Him forever but things happened and I doubted Him to the point that I really hated Him. I kept asking why He would let all these things happen to me when I did nothing wrong and never intently hurt another. I've been a good child of God but why did He allow me to suffer that way? I wondered and got really angry at Him but thankfully, with good people around me telling me to continue my faith in Him, that I found my way back to Him again... it wasn't easy but everything fell into place and there's no other possible way I could explain it.

I guess it's time for me to just continue receiving the bounty that God has in store for me. I feel so blessed and I am very thankful for it. If there's anything that I truly wish for now, it's to have a baby ;) but... I guess God won't give it to me yet because it's still not the right time. I'm sure the baby will just come when God thinks it's the right time for us to move another step, a new phase in our lives, and that is to be parents... Hope I could be as loving and strict as our Father and hope I could really teach the Word of God to all my future children.