The simple things I want...

Life can be really chaotic and people work hard because we are programmed to work hard. If we won't work then we have nothing to eat and there's no money to pay the bills. I've been quite busy lately too and feeling kinda lonely... Life's not how it used to be and somehow, I have learned to accept it. Guess I am slowly moving on.

I just started thinking about the things that I want in life and I come to realize that there are lots of things I want and wanna do that are really simple but unfortunately, it's not something people would accept seeing me doing these things but maybe, just maybe, I can do it someday.

Here are just a few of the things I really want to experience...

1. fly a kite- I always dreamed of flying a kite but for whatever reason it just doesn't seem "proper" for me to even fly a kite. I used to remember our helper, he made this kite and he flew it and I was so amazed by it. I held on the nylon thread for a moment too and it was fun. After that, I wanted to fly the kite but they told me I shouldn't coz it's embarrassing to run around trying to fly the kite in our village. LOL! But, who knows? Maybe someday I can fly a kite on my own.

2. Buy delicious-looking and smelling juice sold by street vendors. I remember once I smelled those juice while I was passing by and they smell really nice but I was told never to buy street foods especially those juices because they are dirty. Alain on the other hand is a guy who doesn't care where he buys food and he got amoeba for that! Now that we're a couple, he is not allowed to buy street foods too but deep down, I am envious because I haven't tasted those. Maybe someday I can?... Maybe not.

3. Go to city fiestas- I am 26 years old but I've never really been to a fiesta before. Don't know what people do during fiestas. Do they all celebrate at home like people celebrate Christmas? I have this image that people open up their doors and allow just anybody to come in and eat with them. Is that how fiestas are held? I wonder... Never been to one yet but I sure want to experience a local fiesta someday.

4. Go to local carnivals- There are local carnivals that come and go and I see people really having fun there. They have very simple games and yeah, I've been to those too but I just don't feel so welcomed by these people. Dunno, just a feeling I guess. But, I also want to enjoy what these simple people enjoy 'coz they look so happy riding those rusted ferris-wheels and riding those scary-looking rides that are scary because of the rusted metal that holds their dear life. LOL!

5. Play street games like patintero- As a kid I usually just sit on one corner and watch my friends play. They all look so happy but I never really played those games. As a young kid I already am quite vain because I didn't want to sweat while I'm in school and go home with dirt all over my uniform. If I could just turn back time, I'd really go back to that moment and instead of just watching them play, I'd join them. I never got to enjoy my childhood... I always felt off as a kid. Didn't feel like I was a kid actually, was too mature for my age. Now they say I am quite immature as I enjoy going to arcades and playing games there religiously. Well, what can I say? Never too late to start enjoying, right? At least now I don't mind sweating a little even in public. I used to hate sweating because it feels... dirty LOL!

Also, I remember seeing pictures of former "companions" enjoying themselves while they went out and swam on a lake. I imagined that lake is also visited by carabaos (LOL) but they all look so happy. I wonder, 'coz knowing myself I wouldn't dare swim there but maybe... just maybe... it'll be fun too. But I also know that I just wouldn't fit in with their group. I never did really... I tried but I just don't belong to their world.

Maybe people just couldn't enjoy the best of both worlds. No matter which side you're in, there are times really that you would feel like an outsider looking in and just say, I wish I could do that too or I wish I can have that too. People are just never satisfied.