What would make you remember me?

I just got inspired to write this blog entry by one statement that a very good friend of mine said to me last night. She said things remind her of me and I'm thought of on a regular basis. Aww, that's enough to melt anybody's heart, right? It did mine. And I thank you J for being such a sweet and loving friend. You are always thought of as well. :)

Anyway, it made me also come up with a list of things and dates that may send a "Lila" shockwave to my friends and family whenever I'm already gone and I want to share them here.

1) Pork and Beans- When I was a little girl, mom and dad would be sending us balikbayan boxes from the states and there they always add at least 3 giant pork and beans cans just for me. When dad left us, I was just a year old I think and when mom left, I was like over 2 years old already. Was still a fat kid then but when they left us, my weight dropped rapidly and I came from being this fat and cute little baby to an almost malnourish-looking kid. LOL! Maybe it's the effect of suddenly losing your parents and doesn't understand why. Anyway, they made sure they bring me pork and beans 'coz that's the only food I liked to eat... And I really liked it. In fact, there is not enough supply just to feed me. LOL! When they decided to go home instead of continuing their plan of taking all of us there, they came home with lots of balikbayan boxes still and they had pork and beans cans inside as well... for me. I may have outgrown those pork and beans that I didn't eat them anymore. Maybe, mom & dad were upset that they weren't able to actually see me eat those pork & beans that they regularly sent just for their little girl... Up until now, when mommy sees me eat pork & beans, she'd always say that that's what they would always put in those balikbayan boxes for me... Aww...

2.) My birthday- Of course, it's my birthday!

3.) My guitar- I've been playing my guitar for over 6 months now. It's an on and off thing but since I'm the only one in our family who really wanted to learn how to play an instrument, this will definitely remind them of me. For sure when they hear somebody else playing the same songs that I usually play, they'd say "Lila used to play that all the time." Then they would start to cry. ;)

4.) My mugs- I liked collecting mugs. I was fascinated by them and I still am although not the same way as before. Most of the mugs we use at home are mine but I now share them with my family since mom never really cared whose mugs those are, she just grabbed one she liked and that used to REALLY upset me. Grr!

5.) Computers- This is because whenever they have problems with the computer, they always shout my name as if I'm a technician who can fix just about any PC problems there is! I do try and I usually succeed but it kinda get so annoying that they became dependent on me that they don't even dare troubleshoot it themselves. If I am gone, they have no one to call when there's a PC problem anymore and that would really imbalance them here. I know that for sure.

6.) My room- Why, I stay here most of the time and when they need to look for me it's the first place they check. LOL! I think you can capture most of my energy from this room.

7.) Frosty- She's my only remaining dog... She's mine... all other dogs here are my sister's.

8.) The 23rd- Alain would remember me every 23rd of the month. We used to celebrate this every month but I asked to stop celebrating it since that incident on February that deeply wounded me. I no longer want to celebrate this day 'coz it's also the day that my heart got deeply broken. Nonetheless, it's an important day in our relationship... both good and bad.

9.) My portfolio- It's in my computer and I kept some of my written articles. They are not to be published again, of course. But I just want to track down the number of articles I already wrote. I have this "Lila" folder on my desktop and my sisters don't bother opening that since they know there's nothing interesting there. But, maybe, when I'm gone they would be curious enough to see what's in there. I remember, the night before we attempted something bad... I left a goodbye letter in that folder... explaining everything and telling them I love them a lot... Good thing we changed our minds that day and I was happy to delete that file when I got back home.

10.) Lastly, this blog. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to put up an online blog in the first place. It's my memory... People can open their browser, type in this address and start to feel me... I posted all my up's and down's here and hope they'd have hours and hours of reading time as they browse through each entry. I reveal my soul in this blog and it's what I want to leave behind to the people who cares and loves me. I don't just want to share the good side of me here, I want to share the bad as well. It's not all about happy memories, but I write all my pains as well. This blog is a reflection of me.