Enjoy every moment while you can

I'm here for a vacation but my mind is still restless. I feel like I am not doing anything good by not earning as much as I really need to so I could help with the expenses. Oh well, I guess I'm just being self-critical. I'm here to be with my nephew and my family and I should be spending my days and enjoying each moment but why is it that I'm in such a hurry for the days to be done? Then now that I have a few more days left, it's just now that I realize I should be spending more time with them especially my niece and nephews. They are growing up so fast and the next time I'd see them they'd be much bigger.

During my first 2 days I was in dire need of going back to my husband. I couldn't believe I'm here but now I really feel like I'm back home and I feel right at home again... Guess I just have that weird feeling every once in awhile like I just couldn't breathe and I need to go back to my comfy place. But I really have to learn to embrace what I have "now" and not anticipate the future. I don't want to waste my moments because I can't wait for what will happen next.

What if there's nothing to anticipate anymore?

I'm home.... but I don't feel at home anymore

I just arrived this morning. I knew it, I would feel very strange the minute I stepped foot in our house. This just don't feel like home anymore. Sure, it's still my place... This is where I spent most of my life and all that, but I'm starting to get that same feeling again similar to what I experienced when I was still new in Laguna. I was hyperventilating and I just feel like i want to explode! Why do I get to feel this way? I really don't think this is a normal reaction.

I wanna cry and I don't really understand why. Will I feel like this again when I go back to Manila? I was not like this before. What the heck is going on?!!