Everyday I can't stop thinking about our dog Kingkong. I loved him so much and we spoilt him a lot. Until now I still can't believe he is indeed gone. I had dogs in the past but I usually cry once and get on with my life, don't know why now it's a different story. I cry every night. Not just some tears flowing but, I really cry. When I look at his photos, it feels like I'm stabbing myself over and over again. It hurts so much! Maybe it's because we considered him as our baby and not just a dog. He was my companion and he stays with me all the time. Where I go, he goes... When I sleep, he sleeps just under the bed next to me and I can always hear his snore. Now, none.
Last night I carried Frosty in my arms... I know someday she, too, will leave me. I took a closer look at her, saving the image of her in my memory. I hugged her and enjoyed her doggy scent. I love Frosty too and when it was Frosty who once fought for her life, I cried so hard and couldn't stop worrying about her. But, she fought for her life and she's still with me now. I treat her as my baby too and when it's her time to leave me, I know it will stab my heart again... I am just trying to be ready for that day, by feeling her and making sure I truly experienced being with my doggy.
I guess, same thing should be done to people too. You really don't know when they will leave you for good. Whether they'd die or they'd just leave you and you'll never see them again. You'll never have your moment with that person and you'll only regret it. I would want to have my own little moments with the people who are really special to me. I want to store that memory in my mind... the more special the memory, the better. I want to recall that memory over and over again whenever I miss the person because I know, it's only I who shared that memory with that person. At that moment it's just me and that person and we're the only ones sharing that moment... and it's a memory worth cherishing forever.
The three of us. Me, Jodie and Kym
