Going beyond my capacity

I try to put some sense into things but my mind just couldn't figure it out. I am trying to breathe, get some relaxation, unwind, and just forget it all but no matter how I try I just end up failing and going back to my depressive state. I try to look beyond and imagine what the future holds but I am so afraid because I can't see any satisfaction or happiness waiting for me. I can't help but feel scared that this pain, this undying pain inside me, will linger on for all eternity.

Is there hope? Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? Can I still truly smile again?