Seeking comfort.

Hello there, blog. It's nice to have you as my company for tonight. It's been a sad day for me. Well, not at first, but ended quite sadly. Can't help but cry.  I was taking care of my lil girl the whole day but unfortunately I got a really bad attach which led me to just stay in bed feeling so weak and having a hard time to get myself up and help out my lil girl who was asking for additional milk. My lil girl is a mature 3 year old and when I told her I really need to rest now, she understood and gave me my space to rest for over an hour... but, I am still not feeling so well. At least I can't be more stressed and strained at this point.  I am sad because I'm still finding it difficult to accept that I do have a bad heart. I am sad because there's so much I want to do with my lil girl and can't do much anymore because of my bad heart. I am so deeply sad because she has to leave me tonight so she could stay with her dad who can better take care of her at this time.

Don't get me wrong, I am glad he offered to help. But, it really broke my heart. I have to give him this time which she should still be with me and my lil girl still wanted to stay here with me... But because I couldn't take care of her tonight I really have to let her go to them. I know she's in good hands and she''d be happy but this is seriously breaking mommy's heart.  I love you so much my lil girl...

Well, just had to get this out of my system. Thanks blog for listening to me. Will try to cheer up now.

100 happy days through blogging

Okay so I have this friend who wanted to start the 100 happy days and instead of posting photos on Facebook, she prefer to start posting on her blog for 100 days. Okay, so 100 blog posts in 100 days sound crazy and tell you, that is really crazy, so she decided to post there weekly. I wanted to join in as well since my blog would surely need some post boost but, just like her, will be posting weekly instead of daily (I just hope I'd make it to the very end of the 100 happy days though, no promises).

So here's the start of my 100 happy days through blogging. Day 1 (week 1)

So last night I was deeply heartbroken. I have this "someone", I prefer to keep this anonymous, who was in need of some enlightenment. Being a shoulder to cry on, being someone to give another some light when your light is starting to get a little bit dim can be quite daunting... But, because of my extreme love for this person, I couldn't let go and just wanted to help out as much as I can.  I'm heartbroken because I feel I didn't do enough to help this person to get rid of the pain and anger inside her heart. I felt I could have done more but I became busy as well and life, well, just had to go on. I reflected on her life 'cos I really could see myself in her, I saw the old me, the most fragile version of me... And I knew she needed help, she needed somebody to lift her spirit up, dust off the dirt and make her go on in her journey. Life can really be painful but it can be a little bit more painful to others while some are blessed to have a pain-free life.

Why did I start off my 100 happy days with something that is actually heartbreaking? It's because I, through God's grace, was able to lift her up to start another day instead of taking pills to end it all. I once was in the same spot and God gave me people and signs that made me able to write this today. So, may God continue to use me for His purpose. I am open to listen to whatever He tells me to do.

100 happy days. Let's count our blessings each day and may we be blessings to others as well.  Happy Sunday!!!