I am a very transparent person. When I feel bad, you'd know it. When I hate you, you'd know it. When I'm happy, angry, hurt or whatever, you'd definitely know it. Unfortunately, this is becoming a burden for me. How I wish I could just pretend that I am okay now despite the heavy burden I am carrying. Yes, I am burdened... I am in pain... again!
I never thought I would feel this kind of pain again over something that is sooo familiar to me. I know, once is enough and twice is just too much but does this mean I am acting stupid and still accept things even though they just feel so wrong? I have learned my lesson but gosh... this is just so hard. No matter what I'd do, I'd end up hurting somebody... either I'd end up hurting myself or end up hurting someone who loves and cares for me so deeply. I chose the former... can't hurt somebody I love with the kind of pain that will NEVER go away. I'd rather be the one to be burdened than cause such pain to somebody else. Gosh... but I can't hide my pain... no matter what I do... I try to pretend but my eyes say otherwise.
I wish things would just start to fall into place once more. Hope God will perform His little miracles once again and make things right again. Just like what people say, when it rains it pours... Mine on the other hand is not the kind of rain that people welcome into their lives. It's like having a hurricane Katrina plus some tsunamis and hundreds of crashing airplanes that leave thousands of people dead! OMG! So tragic! Whew!
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