My dad was lucky he survived a heart attack. It opened our eyes to the reality before us. I was shocked and shaken with what happened. I never thought something like that can truly happen in real life. But it did... and despite it all, I still see God's loving hands protecting my dad from the Grim Reaper. I thank God for saving my dad's life but I am still scared... very scared. Hope he would really be okay. I will not feel okay until he's back home. Until then, I'd still continue to be anxious yet hopeful. I can't imagine life without my dad... and I don't want to imagine it. I'm afraid to even think of it.
With what happened to my dad, I ended up thinking... what if same thing would happen to me... will anyone even care? Or they won't even notice that I am gone? Oh how I hate the world! People would befriend you just because they need something from you. When they already got what they want, they'd leave you. Would they even care if you're at the brink of death? Sadly, I realize they won't. Only your loved ones and true friends would truly take the effort to reach you. Only those who are true would come and show how much they truly care about you.
I am shocked. I am amazed. Only a few people gave us comfort. Only a few people truly cared about us... About what we feel. I am shocked. Deeply shocked! At last, I finally see what is real and what is not. I hate to judge but... I know, if a friend is experiencing such a pain as I do, I would definitely exert an effort to give a little bit of comfort. But then, that is me. I can't expect people to do the same for me. I shouldn't expect them to do the same for me. It's a truth that is hard to accept. But unfortunately, it's what I have to learn to accept.
For those who exerted an effort to reach out and prayed for my family, I thank you deeply. Really, your prayers mean a lot to us especially during this crisis. We are in pain, I can not hide that. But your prayers and support helps us through. I just wish there are more of you but... I am happy with those who reached out and showed us true love.
To my friends who texted and emailed me, thank you very much. Unfortunately, there are just a handful of you who did but... I am thankful. And with this handful of people, some are truly unexpected. I'm amazed that some people truly care about us despite the lack of deep friendship. Thanks for having such a good heart and for showing us how you also care. Thank you thank you thank you!
I will not judge those people who didn't take the time to send us even just a simple text. We all live in a busy world so I understand. You may be "really" busy that you can't even show a little bit of compassion to others. I just hope that when it's time that you'd need that same compassion, others won't be as busy as you are. 'Coz then, you would realize how painful it is when people won't even stop doing what they're doing just to show you they care.
With what happened to my dad, I ended up thinking... what if same thing would happen to me... will anyone even care? Or they won't even notice that I am gone? Oh how I hate the world! People would befriend you just because they need something from you. When they already got what they want, they'd leave you. Would they even care if you're at the brink of death? Sadly, I realize they won't. Only your loved ones and true friends would truly take the effort to reach you. Only those who are true would come and show how much they truly care about you.
I am shocked. I am amazed. Only a few people gave us comfort. Only a few people truly cared about us... About what we feel. I am shocked. Deeply shocked! At last, I finally see what is real and what is not. I hate to judge but... I know, if a friend is experiencing such a pain as I do, I would definitely exert an effort to give a little bit of comfort. But then, that is me. I can't expect people to do the same for me. I shouldn't expect them to do the same for me. It's a truth that is hard to accept. But unfortunately, it's what I have to learn to accept.
For those who exerted an effort to reach out and prayed for my family, I thank you deeply. Really, your prayers mean a lot to us especially during this crisis. We are in pain, I can not hide that. But your prayers and support helps us through. I just wish there are more of you but... I am happy with those who reached out and showed us true love.
To my friends who texted and emailed me, thank you very much. Unfortunately, there are just a handful of you who did but... I am thankful. And with this handful of people, some are truly unexpected. I'm amazed that some people truly care about us despite the lack of deep friendship. Thanks for having such a good heart and for showing us how you also care. Thank you thank you thank you!
I will not judge those people who didn't take the time to send us even just a simple text. We all live in a busy world so I understand. You may be "really" busy that you can't even show a little bit of compassion to others. I just hope that when it's time that you'd need that same compassion, others won't be as busy as you are. 'Coz then, you would realize how painful it is when people won't even stop doing what they're doing just to show you they care.
I would still continue to ask for even more prayers. Dad is still under observation and we still need to continually pray for him to get better. Please continue to pray for my dad. Please...
3 comments:
...sorry that you had to feel this way.
Only you can tell whether they do. Take care.
...I forgot to add... I can't be sorry for being me for the rest of my life. Think it's better if I run away from expectations forever. I have started to love myself ...I don't want to hate myself again only because I am simply NOT the person people expect I am.
You are not the only busy person in the world. If this post have affected you again, I am sorry. But I wrote this stating a fact and is not targetted on you so I hope you don't feel that way. I was just amazed, dad was at the brink of death but nobody really truly cared. A few did and I thank them but others who dad have helped did not even show their face. They may be too busy that they can't even show their face to a dying man. Thankfully, dad is still here.
I just wish it won't happen to me. I don't want to be too friendly to people because I don't want to expect anything from them... from all of you.
You don't need to be sorry for who and what you are. That's you so you have to accept who you are.
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